God's Wildflowers

So this blog has been a thought process that has been on my mind for about a month now... Since this last month has been absolutely crazy for me I am finally taking the time to sit down and write it out... Lord willing it will flow the way that He wants it to!

Most of my thoughts for blogs come when driving and you have no way to write them down... luckily I thought of my cell phone and how it has the recorder on it and so now hopefully when driving and thoughts catapult there way into my mind I will have a way to remember them!

But I digress.... the thought that I had while driving was how beautiful God has lined the roads with beautiful wildflowers! Matthew 6 has always been one of my favorite chapters, primarily the last 5-7 verses. I was looking through the translations to find which one I wanted to put in here and read The Message translation... which isn't one I usually read but really spoke something to me...

^{~Matthew 6:30-33~}

^30-33"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. "

WOW!!! I know that I know this concept in my head but reading it show's me how far I have to go to get to the point where I fully trust God with my life and know that if He cares about making the hills pretty with wildflowers how much more He wants to sprinkle my life with His beautiful touches!

When driving I also thought about how fleeting the wildflowers are. During the spring there were these beautiful purple and white flowers that were distributed perfectly along side the road by God himself... As the days grew warmer the flowers withered away and I found myself wistful, wishing that they could stay around forever! I reasoned that now the rest of the summer would go by with no wildflowers along the road leaving just sun burnt grass and remnants of what was once beautiful... Man was I wrong!!! God has a better plan than that and I began seeing it unfold over the next couple weeks as stronger, heartier wildflowers slowly poked their heads out from their hiding place, basking in the warm summer sun! I was overjoyed at the idea that God knew what wildflowers should come out for the different seasons and how He even cared about that!

Which brought me to my life lesson....

Have you ever held on to something in your life thinking that it was "as good as it got" when God was telling you to let it go? I have!

Have you ever worried about the future and wondered how things were going to work out, everything so uncertain? I have!

Just like I wanted to hold on to those spring wildflowers because I didn't see the future and know that God had summer wildflowers waiting in the wing, I have held on to people, places and things, thinking that there would be nothing to replace them... that this was as good as it got.

Or... have you ever had a dream or ambition that you were looking forward to and God was telling you "not right now"? I have....

Did you repeatedly plead with God to reveal His plan but secretly worried about what that plan might be and fearful that it doesn't line up with what you want for your life? I definitely have!!

Eight months ago I had my own beautiful apartment... had an ok job that had its ups and downs but could be very fulfilling at times... had a church home that I was starting to get to know people... had my little group of good friends... had my mom right in the next town and there for me when ever I needed.

In one month of looking back over India pictures to prepare a presentation of my trip in 2008 sent my world spiraling out of control! I prayed and pleaded with God that I might go back for a year and work at another orphanage. I moved in with my mom to save money and pay off bills... Things with India kept falling through... I wanted to leave by August yet things weren't falling into place... then my mom met someone... and God revealed that my India trip wasn't a no... just a not right now! I wouldn't have been here for it all had I left when I planned! Thank God He knows the plans that we don't! And then some how... it still baffles me how God works!... I have the opportunity to move down to South Carolina for a season and spend quality time with my brother during his last year of college!

If someone would have told me a year ago that all these things would unfold I don't know if I would have believed them!

But God knew!

And He so graciously asks for the wildflowers of our lives that we are clinging to even as they wither away in our hands...

He says open your hands so that I can give you new stronger wildflowers (dreams and ambitions)!

He wants to bless our lives so much and show us how many amazing things He has in store for those who love Him!

He has better dreams and plans than we could even ask or fathom, He is just waiting for us to say...

Your will not mine!

Why do we hide our struggles?

So I think this blogging may become addicting! Only day 2 and I have been thinking about so many different things I have wanted to write about!

After a very exhausting week emotional and physically at work I was so ready to throw in the towel and just not do anything today! I didn't want to talk to any one or see any one.

Though the solitude today was nice I knew that I was falling into one of the devils many traps so I text my friend and we planned a little time together! And on my way to a dear friends I thought about how the devil gets us to feel that way. We begin thinking that we are the only ones going through difficult or challenging times! He wants us so isolated that we think no one else in the world could be feeling what we are.

On my way over to her house as I was driving I could see this huge ominous, gray cloud over the town of Bath ( kinda like the cloud over Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh stories) It wasn't raining, just hovering over the town like an oppressed, sad spirit... YET to the West I could see the sunset!! And though this cloud was there and you could feel it the sun was still shining on the town filling it with light! It was so beautiful to me and it showed me something!

There are times in our lives when it feels like our life is weighing down on us and that this oppression won't go away. Like we are the only ones that can feel it... Its dark and it keeps us immobile... Its like that cloud... We feel that there is this little rain cloud over us that just won't rain and won't go away! YET... instead of looking straight up at the cloud... if you look into the distance you can see the SONset! He wants to light up your life and show you the way! He is there waiting for us to look and see the light guiding our every step!

So... the last thing I was struggling with is... why do we not want to share with others our struggles or what God has brought us through?!

So many Christians I have observed try to sweep under the rug the tough times... put on their smiles for church... and tell everyone they are "Fine!"

Isn't it in our weakness that God is strong and glorified?!
Isn't it in the trials that we learn the most?
Isn't it in the hard times that we grow into the person that God is shaping us to be?

Why then would we want to hide that from others?

God has put us here to come together and share in each others joys and sorrows... our laughter and tears... our ups and downs... our times of famine and our times of feast! God gave us friendships to help us to see that we are not alone in this world! And that your friend might be going through the same exact think that you have. If we hide the struggle we loose out on blessing that friend with encouragement and love! We miss out on crying on each others shoulder and knowing we are not alone! We miss out on opportunities to laugh together til our sides hurt! And most important we miss out on building lasting relationships that edify the Lord!

It's OFFICIAL!!!

So after much contemplation I have finally caved and started a blog!!

I am hoping and praying that this will be a spot that I can share what God is doing in my life and maybe in some way encourage someone in the process!

I recently went back through all my emails from when I went to India in 2008 and was amazed at what God all did while I was there. I grew so much! I couldn't always see it during the process though... I remember some days being so painful and heartbreaking...

Like the day I was supposed to go to a wedding and found out one of the little babies that had been at the hospital had passed away earlier that morning... knowing that I could have possibly saved that little one from a death of dysentery hurt so bad. It was through that time God reminded me that not only was this precious little one not in pain anymore but even more so she was home sitting in her Daddy's arms being held for the first time by someone who loved her more than anything!

Its those memories that I want to remember by writing this blog... and to encourage others with the many things I think about, ponder, struggle with and praise God for! I pray this will be iron sharpening iron with someone! And though some day I will not feel like writing or want to remember the pain of things... just knowing that I touched one person's life will be worth it all! So if you think you would like to hear more please join! I look forward to you reading but even more so your comments back and how God is working in your life as well!!

~What do I know of Holy~